Hi..Pl Help me

Hi All,
I am new to his group and I am here for my brother in law who is Thal ( Intermediate ). I got married 2.5 years back
and since then I know my brother in law (Mukesh) as a person who is interested in exploring all nook and corners of life.
He is 26 year old and chose to a librarian by profession.

I am now very worried for him as I am seeing him loosing his confidence of doing things independently.
The problem is my in laws till now treat him like a kid and because of their extra care an precaution don't let him
travel alone for his professional trips ( either it is a conference or a seminar or any meeting ). Last year he had his
exams in Mumbai and my mother in law went with him for four days and stayed in a hotel to make him feel protected.
Mukesh is ready to travel at his own, but his parents are over protective and never give an ear to him or to me
if it comes to his travelling or being alone.

Since he is living in such a protective cover since last 26 years he is loosing his confidence to do things
independently and the parents are not understanding this fact, in fact they are not ready to listen and they think
he is fragile and cannot do things alone.

On the top of everything his parents feel he cannot marry and should be a bachelor for whole of his life.
Now this is too much to take in. I dont find a single reason why he cannot marry. I understand to be married
one needs to be financially independent and be responsible for his/her spouse and he is working on it.
But telling that he cannot marry because he is a Thal, is another act of to bringing down his confidence level.
I have tried talking to my in laws but it is not working for me as they are not ready to change.

I have asked Mukesh as an adult to take his decisions and do what his will say and not to move
as per his parents decisions that treats him like a soft baby toy, but Mukesh has not learned yet to say No to his parents.
I cannot see him living this kind of life. Can anyone help me out here what he should be doing?
also how I can help him out with this?

Thanks a lot in advance...Regards D

Hi Deepty,

to the group

Can you tell us if your brother-in-law is transfusion/chelation dependant? If yes, then this might be a reason his parents are so over protective. If not then I don't understand why are they doing this.

In either case this shouldn't be happening. Thal. does not make you dependant on anyone. Can you tell him to join this group and see the brave souls winning over the challenges of everyday life and leading a long and happy, healthy life.

Dear Sajid,
Thanks for the warm welcome and your reply. I asked Mukesh to join this fabulous platform to interact with all of you. First of all I would like to wish Congratulations to all of you for being a leader in your own field. It is so good see adventurous gang here everyone has a passion to drive his/her life differently. Yesterday I was so happy to read the thread on sports section and that’s what I want to see Mukesh to be doing. To know he can do anything he want and not to be over protected and cared and loose his own confidence from him selves. I want him to be just like us who should be ready to act without any fear. I still need to see how I can brain wash my in laws to start treating him as an adult and let him make his own decisions to travel, to explore and to be him without any boundaries.

I hope to make a difference soon in the good company of all of you
Cheers D

I still need to see how I can brain wash my in laws to start treating him as an adult and let him make his own decisions to travel, to explore and to be him without any boundaries.

Hi,

Well, go to our gallery and find my picture. Tell your in-laws: "See this kid? Well he is not a kid. He's 26 and went to another city to give exams on his own with graduates 12 inches taller. He injects his guts with 12 hour long injections every night and loves to travel alone on long flights. He went into short coma with an Hb of around 2 and survived to tell about it all"

Sajid  you are just great.

ZAINI.

Dear Sajid,

Thumbs up to you!! I am so impressed with you. I skipped replying to your question, if Mukesh is transfusion dependent. Yes he is transfusion dependent. I am astonished to see so many means to keep ones HB high and he is not taking any of those. Does any of you follow a diet chart on what to avoid and what not to. And what is must to eat and drink. He is also not into exercise as he feels tired, but recently he decided to start swimming. That will be very good for him.

Again Kudos to all of you for your great efforts and a wonderful outlook for life. I am happy to be a part of it.

Cheers
D 

Hi Deepty,

I think Mukesh could benefit much from this site. He doesn't even have to join to read the posts and I think he would learn a lot about improving his health and also what thals are possible of doing in life, which is just about everything they choose to do. Career, marriage and family are all possible for thals, but sometimes awareness of this fact needs to be created in the patient and the family. Many thals have even relocated to other countries for education and work and don't live near their families. Ask him to check out the site. I think he'll be glad he did.