have u felt this way?

hi everyone! long time no write! i am missing this site and all of you very much!
i had something on my mind recently that i wanted to share on the forum. i guess it related to Life with Thal..so i posted it here..
anyway..my mind was thinking about my entire life.. (as usual)..and lately its been tense with the family and everything..
but anyway..it got me thinking about a topic..which i would like to know if other people feel as well as i do...

i pretty much put ALOT of focus on other things other people other lives..everything other than me...
my focus is for all these to get better be happier be more fufilled in life..whatever it is to reach the object or the person to that ultimate place of happiness!...
anyway..i realized i never have thought this way of myself..and i think alot of it has to do with the point that maybe i never had the hope that i would be the best i could be..cuz whatever i had to do i would have to do in order to sustain something..not make it go away...cuz i knew i never could...
so i tried to 'take away' peoples pains..fix things..da da da da da..you guys get it...
anyway...i think i never really lived a life for myself.. so to speak..
i think it had alot to do with since i was lets say..old enough to remember things and understand...i knew i had to do these things related to my thal..in order to make other people happy...cuz you know..if i didnt my family would get upset..you know..all the stuff they say to kids..or that it would be good for me..la da da da da..
but so anyway...i guess i never really stopped to think...what do i want to do for myself..what would make me happy...
so i've been really diluded..and i think doing things for myself is considered selfish or egotistical..
and i simply look at taking care of the thal thing as something to do in order to survive..not something good for myself (no offense)..
at any rate..i just wanted to see if anyone else felt the same..or has acted the same as i have..
cuz it would give me and/or the community a little bit better clarification as to what exactly thalassemics look forward to, and how they sustain their daily functioning mentality...what keeps them going....
for me..i guess it was taking care of everyone elses needs before my own :/
i never really cared about my own enough
sad..i know :/
p.s-i'm really sorry about not having the videos up....i'm an aries and we usually start something and not finish it..so sorry about that...
but hopefully i will have them animated soon! hopefully!
anyway...i'll be glad to write songs or poems for anyone if they want..if you want me to portray a certain feeling...or whatever it is..i'll be more than happy to
TAKE CARE AS ALWAYS! AND THANKS FOR HEARING ME OUT AS ALWAYS TOO!
red <3

Hi Red,

Nice to see you posting again.

That is so sweet of you to put others before yourself. In-fact it is the same for me too. There are times when I have to decide if "it's my way or theirs" and eventually after a brief thought I say "Alright Alright...It's your way" and it's feels quite satisfying to see their "pearly whites"

Hi red,

How are you? where have you been? and what's up with you?i feel like you are passing through a phase of depression,am i correct,please do whatever you want to do for your self. it's good to do something for others,but you have rights on your self too,do things which make you happy,try to take a fresh start,i know life is tough,we do things for others and still they don't realize i read some where "being a good person is like being a goal keeper,no matter how many goals we save,people will remember only the one we missed THAT'S LIFE"

Keep posting and sharing,we are all here for you.

ZAINI.

Thank you thank you thank you as always Sajid and Zaini

you guys are always there to make me realize again that ..'you know what' , people that you have never even met understand how you are feeling somewhere'..and that in itself is really big for me..

it makes me realize that we can all be connected in a very beautiful way

if only we choose to

Thanks again Friends!

i am doing ok, i have moved, but am moving back home to get a more efficient job.
i think once i start working and getting back on my feet with a schedule and proficient use of my time , then things will start rolling around the riverbend again.
so i look forward to things, and having friends like you definetly helps the situation alot!
 

 

ZAINI.

Good Luck Red and please keep posting

Manal

 

THANK YOU ZAINI AND MANAL!