In memory of old Thal pal Umar !! an inspirational thal pal of mine

umar he was my my first ever thal pal....
umar who tries to to encourage me to use pump for chelation therapy ...
for this purpose he several time show's me how pump make chelation easy.. and ho easy is taking chelation with pump
infront of me... whenever i ask to  umar  that is this not feel painfull ..
he always answered me that  " its hard and dificult but it is complusory for
us otherwise ...." iron will create complictaion in our case " ...
he was an icon of moral ... as he understood too early in their life that
chelation is our compulsion..... wnd we have to live with it ....
he was younger than me as he was 16 year old n i 21 ...he his younger thal bro (saad)
and me (umair) and started his journay of toward heavens yesterday in morning
( 11 am 4th of august )  .... he was younger than me but he joined their papa
on shop couple of months ago with their younger thal brother saad ...
nobody tell me about his death ... last night i call his younger bro to
to say saad to join me tommorow at transfusion center ...
he told me that umar passes .ahhhhh.... it is a realy sad news for me ..
after that i came to know that my papa and bros attended their last prayer..
i dont know wat to do ...i dont know y they didn't tell me ....
his words are  runing in my mind " y we r fighting yaar if we all have
to sink then y trying to swim ...." i dont know how i will face his bro tommorow..
since he diagnosed diabetes n got in comma i was telling continously to
their family that take himm to DR.joveria but they was looking to see him walking
and then they wanted to take him to dr.joveria....
i cant forget him //... n i have no more able to type ..
bcoze i m sad and demorilized ..dont want to fight any more.. my inspiration has died..
heart is crying and broken...how can i fight more with a broken heart .

Hi Nice-friend,

May you are bless  with courage at this hour of needs,

I am sad to here about your Friend and my condolence to you and his family

I think he was a strong person and would like you not to give up .May  you use all your strength to get back on track.
Take care because we all care for you.
Kathy

Umair,

I am very saddened to hear about the loss of your friend and inspiration, Umar. 

Keep Umar's words in your heart and never let his inspiration fade.

Umair, please accept my condolences, i know that any words can not relieve your pain, but be sure that he is in a better place where he would love to see you fulfiling his goal and being an inspiration to others as he was to you

manal

Umair, I am so sorry to hear about your loss.  I don't know if any words will help you right now.  May god give his soul peace and may you be blessed with good health and the strength to bear this loss.  Let us know if there is anything that we can do to help you get through this. 

We honor his memory and are saddened by his loss 

Sharmin

Umar ....
several times nurses made mistakes to pronounce my name  (  umar instead of umair ).... so umar had a hawk eye on blood bag to check the file no and name bcoze he knew that  this mistake could b happen to the staff...... he didn't forgot check their file name on the bag and he  every time ask me to check my file no as he does .... since he diagnosed diabetes n got in comma i was telling continously to
their family that take himm to DR.joveria manan but they was looking to see him walking
and then they wanted to take him to dr.joveria..... he wanted to go there and .... but he won't to force their father to take him to lahore and he cant go alone  to lahore for treatment...he knew that they could manage and afford their treatment in lahore  but..... he won't to disturb anyone for his pain and health concerns ...he was suffering to the same situation to which i suffered in same age (16) he was .....and probleme to delaying to go lahore  was also same .....

that was the  probleme :
as we turned to 16 our parents turns definitly to touch 45 and above ... it wuld b disturbing to our parents  to travel out of city and then stay there and then meal prboleme and their health condition as well ...... so in age of 16 thals could decide to give up... 
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( as me did couple of years  ago and he was doing this time. ... .... i were stop demanding to go lahore and started my treatment here in my city .... to a local doctor .... and suffered ulcer bcoze of taking pain killer pills for a long time to and the diabetes and the comma like condition bcoze of diabetes ( same happened to umar )........and several more complication .........i refused to go to lahore several times for my papa ( bcoze he is a diabetes patient and diabetes patients need alot of care about their meals which was not possible in hospital ) ... but my papa decided to go to lahore and later  he got heart attack for wat i feell me self guilty today ( he is all right now and healthy)..... but a feeling of being guilty is still here in somewhere in my heart.... )then i got treatment to Dr.joveria manan and by the grace of  almight GOD i m here with you healthy and fine ).......
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in this age parents want to see us regarding our self and taking care of our selves independently .....bcoze it is a long mark behind (16 years) they r taking care of us to.. they want to see us facing the life and the world and and they want to see us settled in the life ....setlled in busssines so we bcome independent ... and able to survive in the jungle ( wild ) of the life .... in this particular time ( in which thals turn to 16-19)  bcoze of their (parents) age they felt a little tired and they need some rest ( and we have to give them a little rest by keep struglle on our own without any outside help )......... nothing more to say cant say anyhtng more ....

 MAY GOD give his family and his younger bro(thalasemic) hope of  life,  strength, health , and courage to bear with this loss ........Ameen

Umair,

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. May Allah (S.W.T) give him a high rank in Jannat and give his family and you sabar to bear this loss. Aameen!

Make one thing clear. Don't get dishearted and give up hope. I know he was your inspiration, but don't let his death make you give up hope for your own life as life is given by God Almighty and He decides to take it back anytime. We have to take care of this gift and be thankful to be alive to be able to enjoy His blessings upon us.

Have faith my brother and don't feel guilty for yourself and take care of yourself and your parents.

Nice Friend,

I know exactly what you are going through... My parents did the same to me some 30 yrs ago, with a good friend of mine...

We were inseperable, both had transfusions together and did alot of things together...He was my best friend and my everything...

He got sick one time and was hospitalised for sometime, until he got worse and passed away.. I used to ask my mum how Con was doing and all she would say to me that he was doing well...
Little did I know that he had passed away and I was going to school and doing everything that I did...
My parents told me that my friend had passed away now for 2 weeks and it was a total shock to me..I was a good student at school and from then on I had chanaged from the schock..
4 weeks passed and my parents wanted to go and see his parents..it was his memorial service, I didnt want to get out of the car at all... To see his parents or anyone else..

So I can relate to you on how you feel, it does pass as time does...But I have never forgotten him... I see his parents every now and then, but I still find it hard to stay there long...

I hope that this helps..

Take care and sorry to hear for you loss, your beloved friend..

i talked to his brother last night  ... and asked to his brother that what happened  and wat doctor said wat was the reason of death  .....his sudden death... he told  that doctor said : the reason of his death was Heart Failure ...... then first thought came in my mind to ask abt  his Iron levels ....oh i was right his ferritin was above 7000 .... it is high ...... how it could b possible a person who told me to start chelation .. a boy who show me that is easy to use pump ... a ffriend who knew abt the importance of chelation ... his ferrritin ........ aah man ..you told me to take care of my self but u do not gave attention to your health  ............ why ...u told me to fight against the thalasemia  .... but.......

he was not paying attention to their self his bro says.. a person who aware me to dangers of  iron over load   .. facing the complications of iron over load in his last times.... its hard to accept ....
i m a little dis-hearted ...but life must go on ... i have to live the life until the time comes up ...
now its on my own how i want to live it up ... by facing and fighting against thalassemia and live a good quality  life or spent it to b stickked to my bed and a painfull and a life full  of health complications..... definitely i will chose to live a healthy and good  quality life ... i m not going to give up ... i will  fight  untill the time come up .... thank you all for helping me and encouraging me ..in my tough and full of tension time......  thank you Kathy , Andy , manal ,sharmin ,sajid , and smurfette , cheriean ....... thank you alll for giving me time  and for your kindness  ..  take care of your selves ...  dont worry i m a strong boy .. not going to give up ..

UMAIR

I am so sorry to hear about your friend Umair, sajid is right, life IS cruel .

ZAINI.

Hi Umair.
I hope after the heart-ache of losing your friend is over you will remember the fun time you had together and you might even see how hard he tried, and this     will give you peace of mind.

I believe only the very strong survive.

He has his reason for letting go.

sometime we have to accept that,"It is the way is suppose to be" ,in order to free ourselves from worries.
 Take care, time will heal you pain.   
Kathy

Hi Zaini  ;
Nice to know you are ok  .I hope zainad and you son is well too.
Kathy

HI :
@ zaini
thank you  .. wat i can say more ....

@ kathy
thank once again for being with me in all this tense movements ..
you people work alot to keep me out of the situation ...
now a days i was telling him to join this community but....
unfortunately he didn't .....
first time i told him to join this community in february this year since that time
i was continously saying him to join ...
well .... its a matter of life..
i hope i m going to his home to meet his younger brother who is also a thal ...
but i m not sure abt it i will ask my father to do make it possible ....
i would like to say him to join the community...
to keep him away to the feeling of loneliness ...
lets see wats gonna happen today .....

Umair,

I admire your strength and your desire to help everyone.  God bless you at this time - may god also bless Umar's family and friends.    Your friend's memory and friendship will live on with you - so you must take care of yourself in order to keep his memory strong.  You have much to do and many lives to touch with your compassion and understanding.  We all feel blessed to have you in our lives.  I hope that we are able to supply you with an abundant supply of motivation and understanding.  Take care my friend, 

Sharmin

@ sharminn
thank you for your remarks ... and thank you for admiring to me but i m nothing infront of you people.... i m not as strong as i look like ..... but u people r realy strong bcoze i didn't hear any feeling like this i mentioned in my prevous pmessages  from u people ... so i feel that u r stronger than me ...
u people realy wrok alot to get me back to that situation ... thanx  to you all .

secondly i like to i will try my best to stay strong  and to my best to help other people at my thalassemia center i gave the URL of this site to 6 people   at my center but none of them came on yet..... i m still searching for the people who familier to use internet or computer to get on this site  ..... i want not live only in life but to live in the hearts and memories too .. life is short and helping other is the way too live long ( in the memories of other people and in the hearts )  ...
i dont want live only for me i want to live for a coze and finaly i got something to do ..... feeling lucky to got a path to go on ... thank you all  i realy need  motivation and encourgemment to all of u as u  all did bfor for me
best regards
UMAIR