revealing the "secret"

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Offline Dori

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Re: revealing the "secret"
« Reply #45 on: December 19, 2008, 04:35:06 PM »
I agree with Sharmin totally,i share my daughter's information on need to know basis,people whose comments will leave me and my daughter feeling miserable are not welcomed to share this precious information with us,although i'd be happy to share this with every one but problem is people's attitude towards thal,they think of it as a fatal disease,which is definitely not true.

I just can not stand pity in any one's eyes,for my daughter,she is not pitiable,she is enviable,she is doing great in every aspect of her life Mashallah.I don't care what people think but i don't want their negative comments to leave a negative impact on my daughter.Last time when we went for transfusion,their was a father who kept saying "these children this,these children that" and it irritated me like hell,Afterwards i told my husband what's that "these children" supposed to mean ? Children are just children,you can not classify them due to their dis order ,thal is not what signifies my daughter,it's her courage and determination to live a happy life,which does.

Zaini.

This happend to me one time (alone in the hospital at the age of only 14).
Parents or maybe only the dad coming with child to the hospital for the most easy operation.
Dad kept looking and looking to me. Then he ask/said: "You got cancer".
I said: "No, I dont have cancer". I also close the curtains around the bed. Goodbye!  :whyme :sadnope :raspberries

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Offline cherieann

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Re: revealing the "secret"
« Reply #46 on: December 19, 2008, 09:26:19 PM »
You are doing a wonderful job Zaini.
Peartree, yes people can be heartless to the point that they do not realise what they have said or done.
I think we are all doing a great job dealing with life and it helps to come here and be surrounded with people who care for us.
Thalassaemia is a lifestyle not a burden.

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Offline Manal

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Re: revealing the "secret"
« Reply #47 on: December 20, 2008, 02:40:28 AM »
Though i am late in joining this wonderful discussion, i too agree with Sharmin in her opinion. Unfortunatly when my son was first diagnoised all my relatives knew cause we are all so close but now i  regret that and i go with the same rule of need to know basis

manal

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Offline cherieann

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Re: revealing the "secret"
« Reply #48 on: December 20, 2008, 02:49:41 AM »
Dearest Manal I personally feel that no one can be late in joining a discussion. This topic has been around for a while and I think that it is great that this topic has been dug up and replied to.
Everybody's ideas and opinions are a welcome source of information for us all.
The other thing is that sometimes new technology comes along and give us  a new way to look at things.
Thalassaemia is a lifestyle not a burden.

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Offline Zaini

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Re: revealing the "secret"
« Reply #49 on: December 20, 2008, 07:45:23 AM »
Quote
This happend to me one time (alone in the hospital at the age of only 14).
Parents or maybe only the dad coming with child to the hospital for the most easy operation.
Dad kept looking and looking to me. Then he ask/said: "You got cancer".
I said: "No, I dont have cancer". I also close the curtains around the bed. Goodbye

Sorry Dore,that must be horrible,this is what i want to prevent my child from,she has a wonderful attitude towards life,she never complains about thal,she is a very active child,she participates in each and every co-curricular activity in her school,and she is brilliant in her studies,people sometimes doesn't believe that she is learning Holy Quran by heart,it's considered a very difficult thing,coz you don't just have to learn it but you have to remember it for whole your life,and learning a book in a language you don't understand,it's called a miracle here.I am really proud of her.

I want her to be that way whole her life,i wish she'll become a hemotologist one day :) .

Zaini.
^*^Xaini^*^

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Offline Manal

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Re: revealing the "secret"
« Reply #50 on: December 20, 2008, 10:54:47 AM »
Thanks Cherieann  :hugfriend :hugfriend I am also glad that this discussion is opened. What makes me regret what that some of my relatives knew is -- like Zaini said--- people ignorance sometimes hurts as when one of my relatives was one asking infront of my son '' can he get married??'' She is not only ignorant of the disease but does not sense that not everything should be asked in front of a child.

manal

Re: revealing the "secret"
« Reply #51 on: December 23, 2008, 01:58:02 AM »
Another nice Topic that make me feel lucky to find this community.

I hope I can share my experience ... Because in Indonesia when so many bacteria, virus, and so on.. My childhood is not as good as yours or others (in my point of view tought).

I'm stopped schooling at 5th Primary grade, and its all because of thal, not the thal or blood need it self that stopped me from school but the weakness that i got from thal, my parents were so protective.. I cant even play with my friends, when its break time i only can sit, chit chat, eat, and so on. Unfortunately even they are so protective, it cant help me with virus / bacteria in school, in fact in 4 years of my school there once every 3-4 weeks i fell sick and search for doctor, then my HB drop more and more, need more tranfusion than ever (thats what they tought). At the final decision my local doctor suggested to stop school.

Here I am, and that was all hard and long day, not only that even when i'm still schooling some of people may think thal are weird or thal may be passed to them trough air or so on so i got abandoned in the society :(.

After that can you imagine how bad that would be? How scary, how boring, that was so insane! Why? Because all i can do is just watch TV, Video Game, Eat, and Sleep.. (not yet have computer and internet at that time).

That was scary moment, because when you've nothing to do, no task at all, your brain will think about the past, the present, and the future, and it is not so good for me, I saw so many question WHY and WHY.

But then it only goes for 2 years, since i got my computers and online in the cyber world, all the think has gone and I'm not attached to bad thinks any more. But still this is so bad because i cant socialize with many people in real face to face...

That was my beginning of my understanding what is it to do with Thal.

Thalassemia is a Gift from God isnt it? Or do you think its a Curse?

I found so many people on the net, that whenever sometimes i told them they suddenly disappear, time after time, person to person and then group to group, I met so many people so many articles, and so many information. Then I started to think, Why am I taking this Thalassemia as a Curse instead a Gift? Why would I be sad if after passing trough so many things so many years but i'm still okay.

There are so many great full things that only happend because we have thal, there should be always one or two. In front my eyes there are a give from God, This website are one of them. And as for me I've build my community from 2004, its Indonesian, that's the one i loved most, because I have thal that community could exist and I really thanking God to give me this path of life.

So afterwards I never think thalassemia as a curse, this is a Give, a path that we must walk no matter what happen and even if we reject that it will lead us to worse scenario of life. 

As for telling others, I'm still doing it, tought they're so many reactions indeed, specially in my condition they will never notices it infact they all dont know till i tell them. I rather not to tell them tought but it is not possible because when they are asking about my grade, my uni or else, i've no idea what to answer.


But, this is after so many years i'm telling people what i have, what i did, and when Thalassemia story started it will be so long that i'm usually got bored my self, so i'm improving the story with another story...

kind of like this :

He : "what are you doing these days in School/Uni?"
Me : "I'm not schooling or Uni Anymore"
He : "Heh? So young and not school/uni anymore? why? so what are you doing?"

This is where the fun parts begin, if we want to tell them, so be it, if not i'm just sayin "I'm working now, helping my dad" (thats the facts tought :P) I'm not telling about thal at all.

But in some case I feel like to tell them so this line begins :

Me : "Because I'm a Vampire."
He : "What?? stop joking, I'm serious!"
Me : "Yeah, I'm not joking, I'm quite serious and yes, I'm vampire."

Usually this rate They will notice something, either i'm lying for something or the smart one will guess that i've some anemia or kind of that.
And here We can also see they behaviour, are they care about us or not, is it just formality to ask that question or they're really care.

And the conversation go anywhere i like.


These days, my toughts always the same.. but maybe sometimes things get hard and i started to think on bad side of life, but it does happen to all the people right? not only thal.

-



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Offline Sharmin

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Re: revealing the "secret"
« Reply #52 on: December 23, 2008, 03:38:55 AM »
Dear Jlyayarta,

Thank you for sharing your story.  Thalassemia is a lifelong condition, patients and families face many emotions in dealing with the condition as well as everything else that life offers us. 

This is a safe place for you to share your experiences and I hope that together we can guide each other toward a healthier and happier future.

Sharmin
Sharmin

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Offline cherieann

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Re: revealing the "secret"
« Reply #53 on: December 23, 2008, 07:38:42 AM »
Hi Jlyayarta
I totally totally agree with Sharmin...

This is a wonderful place where you can be yourself.
We may have differences of opinions or experiences but what we share is a common goal to support one another as we live life.
Never be shy to have your say.
We are all family.
Thalassaemia is a lifestyle not a burden.

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Offline nice friend

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Re: revealing the "secret"
« Reply #54 on: December 23, 2008, 02:20:13 PM »
Hi Jlyayarta ,
Thank you for sharig your story , its not completely but a little similar to my one , i havn't shared my story yet on anywhere on cyber world :biggrin ... but i will try my best to write my story completely and then i will share ....  its nice to hear about you and to know about how you copped to your thal and how you faced the world ... hope to hear more encouraging and informative stories from you in future ...

Best Regards
Take Care
Umair
Sometimes , God breaks our spirit to save our soul.
Sometimes , He breaks our heart to make us whole.
Sometimes , He sends us pain so we can be stronger.
Sometimes , He sends us failure so we can be humble.
Sometimes , He sends us illness so we can take better care of our selves.
Sometimes , He takes everything away from us so we can learn the value of everything we have.

===========
Umair

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Offline Sharmin

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Re: revealing the "secret"
« Reply #55 on: December 23, 2008, 04:28:22 PM »
Umair,

I look forward to reading your story:)

Sharmin
Sharmin

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Offline nice friend

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Re: revealing the "secret"
« Reply #56 on: December 23, 2008, 09:09:37 PM »
Sure !! Sis ,
i will try my best to make possible and i hope that it will happen Realy soon....

Take Care
Umair
Sometimes , God breaks our spirit to save our soul.
Sometimes , He breaks our heart to make us whole.
Sometimes , He sends us pain so we can be stronger.
Sometimes , He sends us failure so we can be humble.
Sometimes , He sends us illness so we can take better care of our selves.
Sometimes , He takes everything away from us so we can learn the value of everything we have.

===========
Umair

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Offline Dori

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Re: revealing the "secret"
« Reply #57 on: December 23, 2008, 11:02:51 PM »
Jlyayarta,

I feel sorry to hear that you had to stop with school. I hope some day you will be able to return. Over the ages we start to get having a better immuumsystem. Atleast that's what I think.

Yes, this is a place where you can be completely yourself. I see it as a gift.

Owh, I would like to chat, but at the moment I got some serious and stupid pc problems so it would take a while. You can sent me a private message ;)

Best wishes from the Netherlands,
Dore

Re: revealing the "secret"
« Reply #58 on: December 24, 2008, 03:37:43 AM »
I wanted to read your story Umair, i think it will be great if can see others story so we can understand the situation more :D dont you think so?

for the schooling i think i'm to old and lazy now for education :P addicted in earning some money..


i've added your msn dore. thank you.


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Offline nice friend

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Re: revealing the "secret"
« Reply #59 on: December 24, 2008, 11:52:19 AM »
hi jlayarta  ,
you will be reading my story very soon , despite the fact that i have not yet started writing it but i will try my best to start on it soon :grin :grin :grin ....  in my story there is a lil about schooling as well .. last year i got admision in 9th class .. i will mention abt the my experience of schooling last year as well in my story ...

take care
Umair
Sometimes , God breaks our spirit to save our soul.
Sometimes , He breaks our heart to make us whole.
Sometimes , He sends us pain so we can be stronger.
Sometimes , He sends us failure so we can be humble.
Sometimes , He sends us illness so we can take better care of our selves.
Sometimes , He takes everything away from us so we can learn the value of everything we have.

===========
Umair

 

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