Sajid Rauf, Brother to Us All

Andy,

Thank you for the dove 

Sharmin

I am very very sad to hear about Sajid....I have no words to express my feelings....Hope that Rauf family get the strength to bear his loss....Sajid's humor, suggestions will be missed here sorely....May his soul rest in peace. 

I don't know what to say

Same feelings i had a year before when my elder brother died. Sajid was a gem of a person, a true fighter.  1991 posts on this forum, all with lots of kind words, guidance for all. He sure was in demand in Heaven, thats why he left early.
But his mission will continue, nothing can bring us down!

May Allah grant his family courage to bear this tremendous loss.

I too am shocked like so many to hear the news about Sajid's loss. I could not believe my eye's when I first read the title of the post and am still feeling hurt from inside. Not sure how much shock Sajid's family might be going through. Sajid showed positive attitude all the time and I think we need to learn from him.

Sajid will always be awsome in my book, and i dont look at his death as shocking...i look at the conditions he had to endure years upon years upon years shocking.
Sajid's death should be a wake up call to us that instead of sitting behind our computers making everything sound better, we should get up and do something about all this uncessary passing of people that could have been helped. Lets start taking actions, and stop talking about it.
I cared about Sajid and even loved him although i never met him..all of you did! SO lets use this emotion to stand up for his passing and everyone elses once and for all!
I'm the first one to start a rally! LETS START TAKING ACTIONS!

I'm really sorry if that previous post sounded insensitive.
i'm just so frustrated, this is pretty much ridiculous at this point..Sajid amongst others DID NOT have to die. Something could have been done YEARS AGO!
THE THOUGHT THAT HUMANS HAVE CLONED A SHEEP , BUT HAVE NOT YET MADE ADVANCES FAR BEYOND EXJADE IS BEYOND ME!!
this is too ridiculous for me to handle.
sorry i gotta depart.
best wishes to you all for now.
i'll tune in untill someone actually starts getting as upset and railed up as i do,
cuz i cant take this sadness anymore.
it DOESNT DO ANYTHING!
DOESNT ANYONE UNDERSTAND THAT!
YOU CANT BE SAD!
it gets you NOWHERE!
you have to STAND UP FOR A CAUSE!
ok bye best wishes best prayers best of luck to EVERYONE ON THIS FORUM
i hope i havent offended anyone because i am only here to HELP! and if i'm not, then SPEAK UP!
LETS ALL COME TOGETHER TO MAKE A CHANGE ONCE AND FOR ALL!
Lets not let this on go!

Red,

I am with you.  What can I do?  Red Cross?  WHO?  At this time all I want is to bring Sajid back, I know it sounds ridiculous, but I feel like I didn't try hard enough when he needed me.  I failed him. 

I having been talking to people all day trying to find out how I can prevent this in the future. 

Sharmin

how can someone's passing who i have never met affect me so badly?

i sit here and cry for sajid no longer being with us
for his family and the grief they are experiencing
and i cry for my own child-  i cry for his future.
because we talk about compliance and about managing the illness but in reality is it so manageable?

sajid you will be so missed- you were a constant in our lives. 
even though i did not write much on the site, i logged on each day to read updates and learn more for the sake of my son.

sajid you left your mark- may you rest in peace.
vic

Hi all :
you all are doing much efforts to make me strong , i m not a weak boy as any point of view ( i thought ) , but sajid , he was my companion on this site , on msn , he was my companion of my loneliness , when-ever i felt alone , i got sudden thought that turn on msn sajid will be there to talk .. but he is not more with me, to talk to me, to make my discomfort and loneliness to happiness.... its alot that you and all  had done for me to get back my self out of this tragedy .. but he was a true reality of my life that i cant forget , he was the person to whom i felt ease to talk about my self , to whom i felt ease and comfort to talk about my healt and everything.. when-ever in these 6 months i felt that i m feeling tired i just logged on the msn and shared that to sajid  and that makes me feel light hearted ... i will miss him throughout my whole life ... it is unhealable wound i have got on my heart .... hope that you will also cope to this situation very soon ... i remember when ii lost Umar sajid said to me on forum that , " Life is Cruel " ... now i have experienced and found yeah it is cruel .... you will see me soon posting normaly ... his words are still in my heart .. he was a strong man, he was feeling tired since he were diagnosed wit diabetes ,but  he had 't stopped encouraging others , and never told anyone that  wat he is feeling, he was finding the tricks to avoid more pokes on his body ... sometimes he was thinking about the insulin during chelation and some times he were enjoyed the doctor has moved him to inuslin 3 times a day  to  2 times a day ... he was on treatment plan , 6 days a week all night ( how can he take a soundy good night sleep ) to the past 1 and half year  ,and how can he rest , i think GOD wanted to give him rest , thats why HE called Sajid back very soon .. to give his Soul Rest in the Peace ... to give him rest to the depression and worries of blood and desferal shortage ... to give him rest to the tensions of this cruel world .... i m affraid to make new friends .. bcoze i m losing my friends very consistently..... i was talking about the shoulders to cry on ,, i have no more tears to cry anymore , my eyes are dry ..... finaly ! i got sleep last night, i didn't sleep throughout these days ,i remember last time i had sleep in night between friday and saturday ,  after all that now i had got  to sleep again last night .... feeling a little bit light heart but .... if anyone want my e-maill address he/she may check my profile .... i dont know wat do do and wat to don't  ... soo plz never mind if i offend someones emotion .. plz try to understand my condition as well ..... i have lost a person, to whom  i talked more than anyone else i had .....


take care
to keep this mission on .....

sorry i hav't red all replies in this post yet bcoze i have just woke up and signed in while eating something to avoid being Hypo ...  

UMAIR

Hi Red'

Every person deals with grief in their own special way. we all need time to heal.Its important that we keep talking '

I sense your fustration and is very scarry for a young person to be put in this situation.

Right now words are all we have, we cann't stop talking we can't shut down.

Umair   time will heal your pain give yourself time to grieve your lost.Please accept the help you get in good faith.

Vic It hard, I know .especial hard for mothers whom has child/children with thal.dont lose hope keep up the faith.
Take into consideration that each individual has his/her destiny. life has to go on because we have no other choice.
Give ourselves permission to grieve.
Kathy

Today I heard from the brother-in-law of Sajid and he gave me this message.

Dear Andy,

With deep regret, I wish to inform you that one of your users of thalpal, Sajid Rauf of Rawalpindi, Pakistan has passed away on the morning of 21st September.

On Friday 20th September, Sajid experienced heart pain and was rushed to the hospital. His heart was running at 180 beats and then lowered down to 120 and 130 beats. He felt a little better later on Friday and we are hoping to bring him back on Saturday. But on Saturday in the early morning hours, he passed away. The doctors in the CCU tried their best but it was Sajid's time to go.

I am his brother in law and I wanted to thank you for running your website as it was a great learning and sharing resource for Sajid and myself.

Thank you,

Amjad Chaudhry.

I sent this reply.

Dear Amjad,

I was very shocked to hear of the passing of young Sajid. He was a key member of our group and was my assistant, but also my friend. The reaction among the members of our group has been overwhelming. If you or any of the family would like to see how Sajid was regarded by our members, please visit this link and read the posts of the members who are quite devastated by this loss.
http://www.thalassemiapatientsandfriends.com/index.php?topic=2075.msg17569#msg17569

Sajid was held in high regard by the people of our group and his accomplishments within the group were immense. It is a great loss to us all that he will no longer be here with his words of encouragement and cheerful spirit.

Please pass on our sincere condolences to Sajid's mother and sister and to all of his family. Sajid was loved by all and we will always remember him.

Andy Battaglia
www.thalpal.com

This is a very difficult time for us all and another stark reminder of how unfair life can be. And unfair in so many ways, from the basic unfairness that is thalassemia to the unfairness of the disparity in care from country to country. Sajid understood this and tried to even things a bit by helping to bring information to and inform his local care givers. Sharmin has done great things in her area to advance the treatment of thals. Narendra spreads awareness and is constantly involved in working to help thals at home and abroad. It is asked what can one do? Our members can and do a lot already and we can do more. Inform yourselves and pass this information on to anyone that can benefit from it. Help to create more awareness of thalassemia in your areas. Encourage the development of true comprehensive care programs for thalassemics around the world. And don't overlook the effect that this group can have. We do real concrete things through this group, even if in limited fashion. Needles, pumps, desferal, exjade and other supplies have all passed hands as a result of this group. The information we pass along here has literally saved lives. We are effective and can be even more effective, but it takes work and it takes involvement, and it takes enduring dedication, even in the face of the great pain that we all face by getting close to other humans. These friendships are for real. Just ask anyone who has met people at conferences. When I meet people for the first time it is simply a continuation of what I have known online. Aside from Lisa, Ashish was the first person I met from this group and it was no different than talking online. We were the same people we were online. When I met Shilpa the next day, it was just like picking up where we had left things online. When I met Nur, I felt like I was just seeing my good friend. With Miaki, there just seems to be some seamless flow between online, the phone and in person. They are your real friends and anytime you meet one of us, you quickly realize that. And when they hurt or they leave us, it is also very real. Sajid was my friend for a long time. He was my assistant and protege. I depended on him a lot in this group and he took his role as moderator very seriously, and obviously from this outpouring of love for him, he was very successful at what he did here, both on a personal level and in a more formal role as an officer of this group. I will always remember him as a successful man who did well at what he worked at, and as a friend to all of us in so many ways.


(I do believe that at least one member of Sajid's family visited this thread today and read this great outpouring of love for Sajid. I imagine they are quite proud of the accomplishments of Sajid and the many dear friendships that he had).

@umair sajid was one of my best friends and i consider myself lucky that i am one of those people who met him in real... when i got the news i couldn't imagine visiting thalpal and not reading sajid,s posts but i am here just because of the reason that if sajid knew that i left thalpal he would be not happy and the same would go for you....

Hi Asim ,
buddy i m not going to leave to thalpal ... it is the place where i first met to sajid ... it has the memories of sajid ... i dont knoow how to live with only his memories but i think , i hav't to leave this forum ... he was the elderest one thalasssemia major on the site .. and an experienced one as well ... thats why he eased many of other pain very easily and thats why he knew about thalassemia more than anyother other member ...  last time when i met to him , we were talked about the Chris  ( the person who has picture of his childhood on the banner of thalassemia society of UK ) ... i was just had a transfusion a day before we met last time ( as i had a Tx on last wednesday and we met last time on thursday 8;30 pm PST ) .... i was telling him the half episode of my day of transfusion , here is a little abstract of that conversation , i was telling him

yesterday during TX i met a new person at my thal center his name was also Umar  . he wasn't interest to take care of his self . Umar was dis-hearted to the life and saying that thals has a realy short life .. i told to umair that , there are many thals on internet to whom i met  , some of them are above 50s and you may also live more than 50 years if  look after your self , all that you need to have to do is take good care of your self ... and you can touch 60s as well , i told to umar that there is a man he is 50 years old thal and he has a pic of himself on the banner of Thalassemia society of UK , he is suffering to thalassemia to that time when there weren't any good treatment , i told umar that ,there is nothing like the LIFE EXPECTANCY for thal is true its all about the time , when the time's come up everything will turn dramaticaly take care of your self you had a long life to live so do care of you self and dont compromise on your chelation soo that you come able to live a happy life instead of living life by sticking to your bed .. umar was looking convinced and he will join this community soon ... 

sajid , was happy to hear that but ... who knows that wat is running inside his heart ... 
a broken and a little tired heart , a heart had need to take rest , a heart wanted take rest ....

buddies do you know that ?? ,, one of his ferritin report is pending in Shaukat Khanum Labortaries ....  resulting date is in starting of october ... his doctor wanted to revise his treatment plan , after checking his reports ... 

i hope second one Umar named friend will join this communiity realy soon ....

see , i m posting ,but its difficult for me to post without discussing to sajid .. soo if you see any mistake or find my post out of context then please ignore that .. and please if my offend someone then please ignore as well ...

Take Care
Umair

Like everyone when i saw the post i was shocked & stunned to hear about sajid!
I cant believe it,its like a bad dream,no no,this cant be happening.
I never thought him,i thought he was in good health,he always had a sense of humour,and
he helped with info & support,i loved his cakes he always posted on everyone's birthdays,
who will do this now?
my heart goes out to sajid's family,my sincere condolonces.

Please excuse me if I sound completely out of my mind, but I haven't been well at all since I got the text message from Andy about Sajid.  I've been walking around like a zombie, crying my eyes out.  I cannot express the pain that I have in my heart.  I adored Sajid.  He was such a wonderful person and brought so much love and spirit to this group.  I'm going to miss him so much.  :'(

I know I've been absent from the group a lot, and I realized part of the reason when I found out about Sajid.  I've lost so many friends with this God-forsaken disease, and a part of me dies each time I lose someone.  I love you guys with all my heart, and to be honest with you, I'm scared of how many more people I'm going to lose.  Maybe subconsciously I was pulling away from the group, and I feel horrible about it.  I've been dealing with a lot in my life and haven't been well, mentally and emotionally, and I think that maybe I was scared to be involved as much as I was for this reason.  Now I am kicking myself, because not only did we lose a great person, but I lost precious moments with him that I'll never get back.  I hate myself right now, especially for not being here as much for all of you, and I'm so sorry.  I just cannot take losing friends anymore.  It's killing me.  I just cannot believe that Sajid isn't with us anymore.  He was always here ... greeting people, and making birthday threads, giving helpful advice.  He didn't have a selfish bone in his body, and I feel really ashamed that I let him and all of you down.  I'm so sorry and I hope you can all forgive me for that.  I love you guys.   :'(

Sajid, I'm going to miss you terribly, buddy.  I'm so sorry that I didn't get to talk to you much before you passed.  I'm going to regret that forever.  My sincere condolences go out to his family and friends, and I pray that this horrific pain will ease in time for everyone.

This makes me so angry, and I agree with Red.  SOMETHING NEEDS TO BE DONE!  This is supposed to be a manageable disease!  Why aren't these scientists coming out with other things?  Why are they wasting their time on petty BUNK when we have beautiful people dying from Cooley's Anemia and other horrible diseases?  Do they seriously want us to believe that they aren't capable of doing it?!  It's BULLS**T!  They've been mapping out the human genome and testing these stem cells forever.  I still think these drug companies are paying people off, but that's my opinion and I don't think anyone can make me think otherwise.  UGH! I cannot tell you the pain and anger I feel.  Too many wonderful people are dead and dying with a disease that SOMEONE OUT THERE HAS THE CURE FOR!!!!  Ok, I need to stop.  I've been going from crying to a raging lunatic within minutes the past couple of days, and I don't know what to do with myself.  I haven't even been able to keep my mind on my studies, and I have so much homework to do, but at this point, I don't even give a crap about the homework.  I just want Sajid back, and Lisa back, and all my other friends that have passed, I want them all back, dammit! 

I'm so sorry, you guys.  I gotta go.  I love you all.