1. The US has made a new weapon that destroys people but keeps the
building standing,. Its called the stock market.
2. Do you have any idea how cheap stocks are? Wall Street is now being
called Wal Mart Street.
3. The difference between a pigeon and a London investment banker. The
pigeon can still make a deposit on a BMW
4. What's the difference between a guy who lost everything in Las Vegas
and an investment banker? A tie!
5. The problem with investment bank balance sheets is that on the left
side nothing's right and on the right side nothing's left.
6. I want to warn people from Nigeria who might be watching our show, if
you get any emails from Washington asking for money, it's a scam. Don't
fall for it.
7. Bush was asked about the credit crunch. He said it was his favourite
candy bar.
8. The rescue bill was about 450 pages. President Bush's copy is even
thicker. They had to include pictures.
9. President Bush's response was to meet some small business owners in
San Antonio last week. The small business owners are General Motors,
General Electric and Century 21.
10. What worries me most about the credit crunch, is that if one of my
cheques is returned stamped 'insufficient funds'. I won't know whether
that refers to mine or the bank's.