Hi anaheraharmony and welcome,
Every single thing you mention, we have heard repeatedly from thal minors. Your doctors have not known much about it, so they did not tell you what most doctors who think they understand thal minor would have told you. It is very common for doctors to just dismiss thal minor and say it has no symptoms. They are wrong. I don't say it out of arrogance. I say this because I have heard from hundreds of thal minors, who all have various symptoms that are a direct result of their condition. Thal minor is actually a widely ranging condition, where some patients feel fairly normal, and others have numerous problems with their health, and often, there is nothing minor about the problems. I am especially concerned about thal minor women who go through pregnancy, because this can be an absolutely horrible experience for some minors, while others breeze right through pregnancy without a problem. I do feel this can be affected if doctors only understood thal minor and what can and often does happen during pregnancy, with the end result being miscarriage far more than anyone wants to acknowledge, and sometimes danger to the mother's life. With proper nutrition and supplements and the necessary monitoring during the pregnancy, I feel that many miscarriages could be avoided. Although it is recognized in thalassemia major and intermedia, thrombosis (blood clotting), caused in thalassemia by the hypercoagulable state, is also an apparent problem in thal minor. This leads to a diminished circulation of blood between the uterus and placenta, which can lead to miscarriage, and yours is not the first case I have heard of recently where it appears the placenta detached from the uterus, leading to miscarriage and hemorrhage. We have heard from far too many thal minor women who have miscarried to believe there can be any coincidence. This is really happening and it is virtually ignored by the medical profession.
Since the doctors don't know and there is little likelihood that this will change in the near future, we have to take it on ourselves to educate, inform and help thal minors help themselves. For starters, I think every thal minor should take folic acid, B complex, natural vitamin E, vitamin C and unless you get daily sunshine year round, vitamin D, the most important vitamin which comes from the one thing that brings life to earth, the sun. The fact that this has been long ignored is rapidly being corrected as researchers learn just how extremely important vitamin D is to humans. The bodies of thal, minor through major, go through stresses that deplete the body of vitamins and minerals to some degree. A good diet, high in antioxidant foods is very important, as oxidation is the cause of many physical problems.
You should be taking a calcium/magnesium supplement, along with daily vitamin D, in a dose of 2000-5000 IU daily. I would suggest starting at 2000 for a week to two weeks and see if you notice any difference in muscle pain and fatigue. I cannot even begin to tell you how different you will feel once your vitamin D level gets up to adequate levels. I have been through this for years and was taking vitamin D for years at 1000 IU daily. It helped a little but not enough. I bumped it up to 2000 IU late on 2008. I was tested in June, 2009 and my level was only 19, even after years of supplementation. In October, I started taking 5000 IU twice a day. After about three weeks I felt such a change that I reduced my dose to 5000 IU daily and that seems to be working. For the first winter in many years, I have not suffered from Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), which is a syndrome caused by lack of sunlight and vitamin D, during the winter months. This is particularly bad for darker skinned people living in northern climates. During my 10,000 IU daily treatment, I talked to one of the top thalassemia doctors about vitamin D and what they have found with thals. He told me that they found that giving 50,000 IU at a time was the best way to reverse deficiency. I am not a thal but I do suffer from D deficiency, which is found commonly in today's world. We just do not get enough regular exposure to the sun. Over the past couple years, my understanding of the importance of D has grown, as has the body of research regarding it. There are things you can do to improve your health and it will take time and no one will tell you that you will ever feel completely normal, but you can be better. With the way you describe the state of your bones, I have to highly recommend Cal/Mag and vitamin D. Calcium without D is almost useless and magnesium is always needed in balance with calcium, as they control the heart's electrical system, in addition to being necessary for bone growth.
Please do read through the thal minor section and the diet and nutrition section. You can help yourself once you know what can help.