At the risk of playing the devil's advocate, I want to re-emphasize what Narendra, Andy, and Umair have said.
My parents wouldn't trade me for anything in the world, but at the same time, there is no denying the very realistic hardships that come from having a child with chronic health problems and there is no denying the hardships that the child himself or herself will face - perhaps not so much as a youth when parents are there to care for him or her but later in life when they have only themselves to physically rely on.
Some questions to think about:
- Will you be able to handle the financial burden of having a child with a chronic health problem?I, for example, have never qualified for any government aid in terms of healthcare coverage and as a result, have had to rely on my parents' health insurance coverage and when that ran out and I was unable to do fulltime work and receive health insurance benefits, I was without insurance and paying full price for all of my medical expenses.
If my parents didn't have good insurance, here in the United States, healthcare costs are atrocious and they would have had to pay enormous amounts of money for all the times I have landed in the doctor's office and the ER/hospital.
Money isn't everything, but money IS a matter of simple practicality and constantly worrying about money and having to consider things like bankruptcy is just not conducive to anything positive.
- Will the child as an adult be able to handle the financial burden of having to deal with a chronic health problem on their own?If the child ends up like me who cannot qualify for any sort of government aid as an adult, how are they going to manage all of their healthcare costs? Also, if the child's health takes a toll for the worse in his or her adulthood, what will he or she do if he or she cannot hold a job (and therefore is ineligible for healthcare benefits like health insurance)? Maybe in other countries, this is not such a big issue, but in the US, it most certainly is.
- Will the parents be able to handle all the stress related to worrying about the child, caring for the child, making emergency trips to the doctor and/or hospital on account of the child?My mother's health deteriorated after a few years of taking care of me more or less full time and she has alpha thal trait (my father is a silent carrier). From midnight runs to the ER because of high fevers to taking care of me 24/7 when I was sick with fever (which was often) to managing the household besides, it was a LOT of work for her while my father supported the family on a single income.
- Will you have easy access to all the necessary care needed?Good knowledgeable doctors, hematologists, etc?
- Will you and the child have access to a solid support network?The psychosocial aspect can NOT and should NOT be ignored. Coping with a chronic health problem is stressful for both the parents and the child and the child may feel like an alien and even be treated as such compared to his or her peers if there is no empathy and a lack of support. Psychosocial issues on top of medical issues can be a double whammy in terms of the child's sense of self image, self confidence, and general outlook on life.
Where some of us have experienced acceptance and support from others, some of us have not.
Growing up for myself was exceptionally painful. Being Asian and with a chronic health problem made me a prime target for bullying - not just from the students, but from adults as well who did not understand my health condition - and that was something I dealt with well into my teens.
I did not live in a thal-friendly place - NObody except hematologists in the nearest metropolitan area had even heard of thal - and that was a price I - along with my family who oftentimes had to intervene with reluctant teachers and a reluctant school board - had to pay.
First and foremost, I am grateful and blessed to be alive and I am even more grateful to my parents for all their dedication, patience, support, and love for me.
But I refuse to deny that there are times when the challenges - faced by my parents in the past and myself currently - of managing thalassemia in addition to managing life in general have become overwhelming.
Life with thalassemia like Bobby said is not all about hardship, but it IS a very major part of it and can be improved upon or conversely made worse depending on the situations of the current and future.
Whatever your decision is, I wish you and your family the very best.