Hi,
Boston Children's has one of the best thal centers in the US, so you are in good hands regarding getting an accurate diagnosis. Most likely, a hemoglobin electrophoresis test will be done to determine the types and amounts of hemoglobin present. This gives a fairly clear picture in most cases, unless alpha thalassemia trait is present. This might require further testing to verify. The results of any prior tests will also be considered, including any comments on the shape, size and color of the red blood cells.
Because your doctor in not experienced with diagnosing thalassemia, and your ethnic background is not normally that where thal carriers are found, it may actually be some other type of anemia, but until more tests are run, you probably can't tell. If you have any results of a prior CBC (complete blood count) I could look at them and give you some idea if the results indicate that she may be a thal carrier. Please be assured that thal carrier is nothing at all like thal major, and is not a threat to her life like thal major would be. Do be prepared that thal carrier is possible regardless of ethnic origin. It isn't common in some ethnic groups but it is present in most groups on earth, as merchants, sailors, etc. have spread the thalassemia genes throughout most of the earth. So, often it comes down to an ancestor centuries ago who was a sailor and brought back home a bride from another country.