Dear Carisma,
I know how you are feeling. I have felt that way many times. Sometimes we try to find fairness or reason in what is happening around us. Sometimes it begins to feel so random. I guess in some ways it is random. The moms and families I have met here (yourself included) are some of the kindest and most caring people. No one deserves to have a hard time, but thalassemia is a challenge that they have been given to deal with.
I have also thought of the parents who had their children when the treatment was not good, and because of the lack of treatment they lost their children. These parents were some of the kindest, bravest most wonderful people, and very undeserving of the pain and suffering they have endured. Lisa (the founder of this site) and her mom, Sajid and his family - are some of the most incredible people - their efforts are allowing our children to have access to the best information possible so that our children will live long and healthy lives. For these reasons, they were least deserving of all to suffer what they did. I also know people, who have manipulated and hurt others beyond words and yet they are doing well and will never worry about issues such as thalassemia. (Thank god I have met very few bad people in my life). At the same time, I know good people who don't have such challenges in their lives. What I have learned is that life isn't 'fair' - and perhaps people are not dealt good or bad things based on them being good or bad people.
SK and her husband are two of the warmest and kindest people I have met, they have big hearts and the most loving personalities. It breaks my heart beyond words, the situation they are currently going through. At the same time, I know that they are strong and good people and that there are bright and good things in their future. Their beautiful daughter will be healthy and strong - she will fill their lives with happiness. Perhaps they will have other children and their lives will be full and happy. Like anyone, they will have challenges but because of who they are and with our prayers the good in their lives will outweigh the bad.
The plus side for the children of such courageous and good people is that despite their thalassemia - they will learn courage, wisdom and kindness from their parents. They will listen to other people and support them and guide them. Thalassemia children will validate and listen to people who deal with problems that appear far less severe than their own - never once making them feel like they are making mountains of mole hills. Thanks to my experiences here, I have been able to instill that in my son. He often talks to and understands the concerns of other patients and their families at the hospital - sometimes the other child is dealing with a very minor issue compared to thalassemia - yet my son validates their fears and disappointments and comforts them. These are rare qualities and show me signs of strength.
You are also an incredible and amazing person - I have learned so much about you in the last few years and consider you to be my friend. You care so much about everyone and you deserve nothing but happiness. The results of your test will not depend on what how you rank on a 'goodness' scale - if that were the case my friend - you are such a wonderful person that nothing bad would ever come your way - the tests will depend on how the genetic dice was rolled when your baby was conceived.
I completely understand how difficult it is to wait - and patience is difficult to find - while you wait we are all here for you - we are sending positive vibes and prayers your way. We truly understand everything you are feeling right now
love,
Sharmin