A very thoughtful post, Andy. I agree this can be a valuable discussion for both younger (maybe, older) thals and equally importantly, parents and families. I will try to share my experiences (what worked, what did not) and thoughts over multiple posts.
During the Pune Conference, George said something that has stayed with me. The main psychological thing that parents have to deal with is GUILT. And, I think what doctors, counsellors and we have to tell (our) parents first is this: This is not your fault. You did not know. You could not know.
And, this is really the first step. Dealing with Thal requires acceptance of the fact first. If parents are unable to get over the guilt, then that could either lead to molly-coddling of the child or rejection. In India, my experience is that the reaction is usually always the first: molly-coddling. And, wrapping up a Thal child in cotton to protect her from the knocks of the real world is bad, bad, bad for the longer term, in my view. And, I would say this to all young Thals on this group - you must help your parents get over their guilt trip, it is good for them, but great for you. I know I grew up the day when I stopped saying "Why me?"
In India (and maybe elsewhere, too), people have a lot of reliance/belief on "fate" ... and, I see this belief multiplied manifold in Thals/Thal parents. But, this is *crap*, complete, unadulterated, bullshit. Accepting Thal does not mean accepting you have no abilities or no ambition or no *productive* life. Fate has nothing to do with it. You ARE what you want to become. Thal is not an excuse. Sure, there are limitations (can't climb Mt. Everest for one, probably
) but there is still plenty that you can do.
But,you have to start with small steps: first, getting parents over the guilt trip. And, here I think older thals can play a solid role as counsellors. Second, having access to chelation. I think L1 solved this problem to a large extent in India, although there are still some Thals who have reactions to L1 and cannot afford Desferal. Third, getting an education. I have seen Thals (ab)using their position not to study, and parents letting them get away with it. Sorry guys, that does not work. If you want to lead a fruitful life, you have to make the effort, too. And, it's never too late to start.
I will come back with more thoughts later, but my key message is this: 90% of what we want to become is up to US. Sure, we need support from govt infrastructure (safe blood, chelation support) and parents (give us room to grow), but we have to do our share of pulling, too. You are what you want to become.
Comments/questions?
Cheers