If I would be in this situation, I would postpone BMT for another 2 years to see how stem cell transplant (less risky) trails are coming out.
Reading thorugh your post, it looks like you may be jumping the gun, have you contacted the potential donor, where is he/she located. Is the person willing to travel or donate bone marrow. Is there any monetory reward involved (not sure) everybody is different.
If I am going for BMT, I would first check out these things.