It's Been A Long Year!

This is Stephanie again from "My Sister . . .My Hero" in the "Remembering Our Friends" part of this wonderful website.  Even though I have not chatted on this website since, I log in every now and then just to read what everyone is up to (birthday, jokes, smart-alecky banters back and forth, poems and sad passings). I just want to thank everyone for listening to my story and for making me feel I’m not alone with my pain.  It’s been a year since my nieces have pasted and almost a year since my sister has past.  I sometimes still am in disbelief that she is not here with me . . .Not here to share stories with.  I still sometimes fumble for my cell phone in excitement or sheer panic when something happens in my or my daughter’s life good or bad . . . Like the first day my daughter didn’t cry when I dropped here off at school, or when I found out that the nodules in my lungs were nothing to worry about, or when my daughter had an accident at the mall and she fell and hurt her arm (it came out of the socket which they call nursemaids elbow) and I caused a huge ruckus at the mall (the weekend before Christmas) calling an ambulance.  I felt like the worst mother in the world.  I felt truly alone then because she would have been the first one I would have called for medical advice.  She knew I have a tendency to overreact . . .That was our BIG joke between us. I went to school for finance while everyone was a nurse (Mother and sisters).    My sister would have been my first call to tell me not to worry and not to make me feel ashamed or laugh at me for calling an ambulance (she would have laughed later . . . When I stopped crying) for not knowing what was wrong with my own child and not to make jokes about calling the children services on me. . .Like my other sister did (God help her). 

I miss her everyday and my pain feels no different from the first day I lost her.  It makes me feel better to vent to friends like you; people who know what I am still going through and people who went through it and came out even stronger . . .Hopefully, that will be me someday.

My daughter is now 2 years old and looks and acts just like her Godmother . . .My sister.  She is a constant reminder of how beautiful and special my sister was and forever will be.

Thanks again for listen. 

There is a place in my heart for everyone on this website.

Stephanie
XOXOXOXOXOXO


 

Hi Stephanie! 

I'm so glad you posted.  I have been wondering about how you were doing.  When you posted that story about your sister and nieces, it left tears in my eyes, and I never forgot it.  I cannot believe that was almost a year ago.  Time flies so quickly, yet when we lose someone we love so much, it feels like they just passed away yesterday.  The pain never really goes away, and you always miss them just as much.  I am so sorry.

You don't have to thank any of us.  We are always here for each other, and each and every story touches us in different ways.  Your story has helped us, as ours help you.  It reassures us that we are not alone, even though we are sad for one another.   

I hope that you continue reading and posting here.  You are part of our family.   

Dear Stephanie

You can't imagine how much i would love to ease your pain and grief.  Your relation with your sister was unique and special and that is why she will always be around. Keep praying for her and i am sure that she is now in a better place. Maybe if she was with us now she wouldn't be happy because she couldn't fulfill her wish. Remember that God always choose the best for all of us.

Please Stephanie remember that we are always here for you and please keep intouch

Manal