Hello Manoj
Welcome to the site
. I am sure you will benefit a lot from it.
Actually your story is exactly like mine, but the only difference is that i didn't know that i had a trait. My husand ( probably will be the same for your wife ) had a silent gene that does not appear in any blood test except in the DNA test, so i guess that your wife might have a silent one too.
My son is 4.5 years was diagnoised by coincedence, active, his HB is 6.5, never transfused, has no bone deformations, normal ferritin , a little bit enlarged spleen and liver. He is taking folic acid and supplements in addition to resveratrol ( dietry supplement that could increase fetal Hb and is taken as a trail by my son).
Although both our sons have the same case and symptoms, this does not gurantee that it willl continue like this because thalassemia has a wide range. It is never black or white, but ther are many shades in between even for the same diagnosis.
Anyway, i will try to answer some of your questions in order to my knowledge:
1) Leading a normal life, depends on the severity of the disease. Many intermedias were diagnoised in their teenage or may be later and others need transfusions every now and then according to their needs. But as i read her in many posts, intermedias may need to transfuse at some point in their lives. For me i am trying to search for some HB inducers rather than transfusion such as resveratrol which i am trying now, there are some studies using butyrate componds or may be at the end hydroxyurea ( a medicine taken that increases HB in intermedias and is taken by some of the members here).
2) Some studies said that wheatgrass may help in increasing the fetal HB and others deny it. But the people who reacted negatively to it claimed thati t increase their energy and made them feel healthier although itdidn't increase the HB.
Regarding the supplements, folic acid is very important in addition to multivitamin WITHOUT IRON OR VITAMIN C , calcium with vitamin D and B12. My son too takes L-Carnitine as it is very good for the heart which is exerting much effort as a result of having low HB. Also vitamin E is very important . You will find a post discussing all the important supplements and their usage.
3) I guess that i can not answer this cause i am not a doctor, but the logic says that the opposite might happen because your son will be getting older and his needs will increase. The ability to maintain Hb 8 or decrease than this level will be answered through monitering him through scheduled blood tests. I guess no body can tell.
4)Like you i wanted so much to go through bone marrow transplant, but it is not that easy. Of course you should have first a 100%matched donor ( sibling are the best). Transplant may have severe side effects that may be fatal. So it is not an easy decesion to take. I had a consultation from a doctor about transplanting for intermedias and she had many points to consider before choosing this option ( i can send you her point of view in a private message if you want ).
Concerning the gene therapy, it is still under clinical studies and not availabe yet, but i guess this is the hope we are waiting for and i pray that it will be fulfiled soon.
5)Bone defomation is a result of the low Hb. The bone marrow is trying to work harder to companste for this low HB, in doing this it enlarges inside the bone cavities and thus makes bones brittle and deformed,that is why taking calcium is very important. So if you increase the HB no deformation will happen. Hb will increase either through normal/chemical HB inducers (might not work ) or blood transfusions. Sometimes you can find patients with the same diagnosis and same HB levels, one has deformation and the other doesn't so it is again no two are alike in thalassemia.
Hope you find any useful information in my reply. My advice to you is to read as much as you can in this site because you will learn what you should ask the doctor about. Also i had wrote many posts discussing all these points that you have mentioned and had precious answers from the members here that i am sure will benefit you a lot.
Please don't hesitat to ask what ever you like
Take care
Manal