Hi Jeremy and Diana,
I'll leave some of these questions for the parents in the group to answer but I can answer a couple.
Chelation has changed. While many patients are still using desferal, which requires a needle to administer over 10-12 hours, many patients have now switched to the oral chelator, Exjade. In the US, Exjade is approved for ages 2 and up. It is a once a day oral medication that is mixed with water or juice and drank. It has made life much easier for thalassemia patients and has made it much easier to have a normal life.
Early transfusion is becoming the norm with patients, as it has been found best to not delay so that development goes at a normal pace right from infancy. In the past, transfusions were often delayed until the hemoglobin dropped below 7-8, but now it is believed that it is to the child's advantage to start earlier and maintain the Hb above 10.
There is regular monitoring that needs to be done for all patients but for the most part, this consists of checkups, blood tests and the occasional scan to check for heart function and iron loading. Treatment has advanced greatly over the past 30 years, so please do not be frightened by anything you read from outdated sources. The prognosis for patients born today is far better than it was before the age of chelation, and the earlier treatment begins, the better the ultimate outcome will be. Today, there are patients who are in their 50's and they did not have the treatment that is available today while they were young, and in fact, chelation didn't even exist when they were young. Patients today have a bright outlook and future developments in treatment and even a cure, will only continue to improve life for thalassemics. In the US, there are even comprehensive care centers for thalassemia, located around the country, where an annual visit can provide both the total monitoring needed, and also create a treatment program based on each child's specific needs.
It does require more dedication than raising a non-thal child, but it shouldn't take anything away from your other children. In many ways, it is a positive for the other children as long as they are taught to embrace and not resent the new child, but this is true in all adoptions.
I'd like to hear from some of the other parents and what their view is of raising both thal and non-thal children.