Dear Christine
I was away at Turkey and came back yesterday, and today I am reading your post.
I am really sorry to hear that your baby will need transfusion so soon.
It is quite common to start transfusions early, even as early as 2-3 months, as in the case of Piu, which we have read on this site.
Regarding the port.. the surgery itself is quite simple.. but yes, it is prone to infections as it is an open hole. So one has to be very careful. Putting the port is good in a way, because it is really hard to find veins at such an young age and it can be hard for a mother to see your child being pricked several times. Moreover with the port, the baby does not go through any pains of the pricking etc.
In India, they do not put the port easily, and I have not seen the port in any babies ( unless suffering from worser conditions like cancer etc, where they need to infuse many more times).
But can you not ask your doc, if they can remove the port when your baby is a bit older and veins are then prominent and easier to access?
So you could have the port for a year or two and then remove it. It is easier to care for the port when the child is small and is not going out of the house. So it is easier to control any chances of infections.
About donors, I dont think you will have problems with that in the USA as blood is very safe there and they do all kinds of testing and cross matching before the blood is used.
In India, we do have the practise of donors adopting a patient.. that means, one has a list of 15-20 healthy donors on their list and these people donate only for that child.
I tried , and did bring up daughter using this method most of the time.. and the only time I failed, and she got the Hep C virus. Testing in India is still to improve.
Only, neither of you should donate for the baby.
It is a hard decision to take. And you never know how frequently your daughter will need blood.. so maybe you should just wait and watch for 2-3 months before taking a decision. If the transfusion requirements become too frequent, then maybe that will hepl you to take a decison.
I sincerely hope it helps.. but the most important thing is that YOU have to gain strength and stay calm. Accept that this is the best and only way out and it is for your babys good. She will be fine.. trust me!
Love
shikha